Friday, February 02, 2007

i dislike changes

i hate dislike changes

...and that's the truth.

But at the same time, I adapt easily to new environments. *bah*

Work is crazy right now. I have not seen my dad for the past few days. My working late isn't compatible with his sleeping early habit.

And my bro's gone for re-service!!! 2 weeks liao! He did come back last night, though. Talked the whole night. But then he'll be gone from this afternoon till next Saturday!! *boo hoo*

It still is weird to see my mum at home on weeknights. Though I used to dislike the routine, I now kinda miss those times when I send her to work.

Those were the days when my nocturnal activities had to be worked around my mum's working schedule, "Either before 10.30pm or after 11pm. Need to send my mum." Or, "I'll ask my bro if he can send my mum."

And now the flat is accomodating 5 of us (no longer 4). I have a feeling there'll be a 6th.

I need a new flat. A bigger flat. If not for the words running through the grapevine saying that my block is up for en-bloc in maybe 5 years time, I would have paid *HDB a visit last week.

Now my pc is right smack facing my front door. Accompanied by my bro's PS II. Our 'mini entertainment centre'.

We hardly eat out nowdays. Previously we ate out at least once a week. Then chill at the beach before sending my mum to work. Now my mum cooks rice on a regular basis. Gone are the days when a 2kg rice pack can last us almost 3 months.

And we receive visitors EVERY weekend. The past 2 Sundays have been like Hari Raya all over again.

Then there's the conspicuous wheelchair and foldable walking aid beside the front door.

For those not in the loop, my gramma is now staying with me since she suffered "brain-stroke" almost a month ago.

We've been warned that she's to be under surveillance 24/7 given the critical condition she's in. Her eyesight seemed to be affected too. And her left knee's up for another operation.

There's no way that we're going to let her live alone. No matter what she says, knowing how fiercely independent she is.

So my mum, being the only daughter, took it upon herself to look after her mum. Yes, she resigned from her job with a 24-hour notice, despite her company's objection. She got the neurologist to write a letter and simply hand that over to the upper management.

Wham-bam-thank-you-m'am. My family's lifestyle have gone through an upheaval.

There's nothing that I'm griping about here. Okay... maybe the tightness of space at home. And maybe in the car. And our less comfortable financial situation.

Ahh... financial. I felt the first effects of my mum's resignation when the car went for it's major 40, ooo km sevice. A major overhaul is definitely not cheap and I literally baulked at the cost of it. And we'll be dividing the amount amongst the 3 of us instead of 4. My mum's contribution is sorely missed.

But hey, just some petty sacrifices. It does take some getting used to. We're Singaporeans after all. We adapt to changes quite easily (despite making a lot of noise initially).

Besides, it's nice to see another presence within midst. As the saying goes, the more the merrier. Another person to greet in the morning. Another person to keep company. Another face at the table during dinner (if I come back early that is).

This morning, as I dug around the wardrobe for clothes to wear, my gramma asked, "Aren't you going to work?"

Later, as I came to her before I left for work, she spontaneously put out her hand and put her cheek forward. It amused me to bits to see her do that. I realised that she's been looking forward to me kissing her cheeks before I go off every morning.

I realise that her presence keeps me aground. My mum- her only daughter, taking care of her. And me- my mum's only daughter, taking care of my mum as she takes care of HER mum.


...if the idea of hiring a maid to help my mum care for my grandma is indeed in the works, please let me be informed.

I really need to go to *HDB then.

*Singapore's Housing & Development Board. Where Singaporeans buy their flats (public apartments) from.

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